Don't Blink. Don't Turn Your Back. Don't Look Away.

School is finished. Finally. I need to redo almost the entire semester's worth of classes.
That was not a good semester.
I did not enjoy any of my classes, thus I mentally checked out roughly four weeks into the semester, and right after spring break, a cousin committed suicide, and a week later, my 94 year old grandfather passed away.
Not a good semester.
Next semester will be full of writing and researching, so hopefully that will help my GPA come back up.

At the moment, I am petsitting for my roommate's grandparents. They went to visit their son, so I get to stay at their house and watch the dogs while they're away.  It's really nice, having the place to myself. It's the first time I've had a place to myself, actually. I've always been with my parents or had roommates.  I can play violin whenever I want, blast music, cook whatever and whenever I want, wander around the town, and walk around in my underwear just because I can.

I met some of the neighbors at a memorial day potluck, and we went hiking this morning. 9.5 miles. The trail was great, scenery beautiful. It was a real shame my body decided that that would be the perfect time to let my hormone levels plummet . . .  On top of a screwed up knee? Really? Oh well.

One of the people I went hiking with has a nephew visiting soon, and he (the neighbor) wants me to meet the nephew. He's playing matchmaker! So this will be interesting. I find it funny that after 3 days of knowing me, the neighbor is encouraging a relationship between me and the nephew. Updates will arrive when something happens on that front.

Three or four weeks ago, I was at judo, sparing with another student.  he was moving stiffly, and threw me badly. My knee bent sideways, overstretching the MCL and medial meniscus. There's possibly a microtear in the tendons, but I'm not sure. Might ask the doc to check, though, because the knee still hurts.

Guess what I've been watching lately....

Almost Done.

Two more days of classes. Four finals.
Almost done.

I am so ready for this semester to be over. Seriously. This semester is absolutely destroying my GPA. Not that it was anything wonderful to begin with, but now it is complete and utter rubbish. Seriously. I don't even know why I bother trying anymore.

I'm probably just saying that because it's 10:45pm and my FREAKING ROOMMATE WON'T SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP.

ok.

Yea. The sudden drop of progesterone, + Sleep deprivation  = THE MOST FRUSTRATED ELLEN CREATURE YOU WILL EVER MEET

Rose Tyler, I-

Guess what I'm watching!! ಥ_ಥ
I'm going to go sob in a corner.

You'd think after watching these episodes a couple times the emotions would calm down, but NOPE. WHY SHOULD MY HEART BE SAFE?!

SO MANY FEEEEELS ;_;

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Now then.

At the moment, I am procrastinating. Hugely. I have an anatomy exam tomorrow that I'm not ready for, and a sketchbook due for lab that I was supposed to start at midterms.
It's not even started yet.
Due tomorrow night.
I'm on the verge of saying VA FAIRE FOUTRE! and getting on with my life. Because that stupid sketchbook has no purpose in life other than to irritate every single bio 201 and 202 student.  I have not talked to one person who thinks the sketchbooks are a good idea. Most of the TAs don't like them, either. Which is funny, because they're the ones who are in charge of teaching us our lab material.

My Sister's Lab Report

Nancy:  Ellen

There is snark

I just put snark in my lab report

I said to disinfect your lab area and set up for the cult meeting

also

12) Raise the lobes of the liver and you should see the gall bladder which looks like a deflated balloon (like all of your hopes and dreams) and the stomach.

14) Remove the liver, gonad, and stomach by cutting them out. Split open the stomach if you're feeling especially violent today, then find the intestine and air bladder which might be popped because you're a violent sociopath.

16) Find the heart and put it aside for later sacrificing. Notice that is has two chambers.

17) Disinfect up your dissection area and set up for the cult meeting.

Yes, I Just Skipped A Class

I skipped statistics this morning. Not because I absolutely needed to, but because if I didn't, I would probably go mad, and explode at the next person who asked me about the weather. I need a break. Seriously. I'm missing assignments, getting moody for no reason, and just overall being rather pathetic. At least my french class is online today. That class has a lot of conversation, and I'm not sure I'd be able to do that without snapping at my partner.  Also, I kind of love the fact that a lot of my french online has multiple choice, as many times as you need to get it right.  I rarely put any thought into those assignments, and it is wonderful. I suppose that defeats the entire purpose of the homework, though. But that's what studying is for. I prefer studying on my own to doing an exorbitant amount of homework. *coughchemistrycough*
So now I'm sitting in the student union, very much enjoying my break, while working on french homework that should be thought about.  Just so you know, parkour was created in France, and we are now learning about it in my french class. I approve.  Right. All assigned bits of multiple choice homework are done. I'll do the type-in answers later today.

My goblet cells need to stop being such overachievers.

I'm Done.

I need a week without school. I need a break. I am so sick of the tedium. It's so repetitive. Boring. I do not want it. I want to leave it all behind and do something with my life, and not be stuck at school. Why am I here, anyway? Oh yea, society says I need a piece of paper that declares me competent at what I'm "learning".

I'm not learning anything.

I want out.

But I'll stick with it anyway. As much as I hate it, I'll still do it. I will survive the tedium, and get through it. With God's help. Because I could not possibly remain sane without him.  Besides, he's the only one who's helping me with my loneliness. I couldn't possibly live without him. I can't.

I sat for over ten hours watching a stupid TV show instead of doing the homework that I needed to do. I got up to eat, and use the restroom.

I'm pathetic.

and I need someone to talk to. Please?

All these names in my phone, and even more on my facebook. Who can I talk to? I don't know. I don't want to annoy anyone with my incredibly pathetic life. They probably have better things to do than listen to me talk about how I'm not happy with my great life.  I don't even have any school-induced debt. No, I don't know why I'm complaining.  I'm just lonely, and sick of it all.

Let's go on an adventure.

Thankful

I am so thankful that my life has been easy. my family has never had to worry about money issues, my extended family are all functional, and the hardest thing I've had to go through in my life is dealing with my own laziness and unwillingness to do anything.  Seriously, I am so thankful.

So far, school has been decent. I detest chemistry with a fiery hatred, but statistics is easy. Mostly because it consists of plugging numbers into a formula and pressing the equal button on the calculator. Actually, I'm about to start some chem homework right now. It's pretty easy homework. just write a brief summery of an online lecture, and answer three questions. Oh, wow. This particular one only has the summary.  I like writing the summaries. I use brief, couple word sentences. Basically taking notes. I never write an actual, formatted, paragraphs with proper sentence structure and punctuation.

22 minutes later, at 9:57pm, chemistry homework is done.
time for statistics, which actually requires me to get off the computer.
eww

Still Raining

Rain, and more rain. It's supposed to turn into snow! Where's the snow?

I'm procrastinating on chemistry homework, so please forgive my rambling.  I doubt it's going to be much different than the weirdness that my posts usually consists of.  One of my friends stayed with me for a while a couple months ago. She left a book and some clothing here. She probably wants her stuff back. Too bad she's in a different state. Oh well. I'll mail it to her. Eventually.

So I have a job interview coming up. I'll be working for a healthcare non-profit organization. Hopefully that will earn me some kudos with the physical therapy plans. It will be rather difficult to do without a car though. Hopefully I can work two jobs over the summer and earn enough for a car by the end of it.

Real life sucks.

Real life is awesome.

I've started reading the Girl With a Dragon Tattoo books.  They're really well written, and the story, once you get to it, is great.  The first half, or three-quarters of the book consists of the daily life of the characters. Which is interesting, but there's not much of an actual mystery to solve, or real plot till the later parts.

I can't wait till the weather gets nice again, because I want to buy plants. Can't do that when it's all cold, rainy and snowy. I'm going to get some herbs and a couple medicinal plants. Can't wait. =3

Ok, enough rambling.

Rainy Day

It's drizzling outside, and it is beautiful.  I love rainy days.  They make me want to read all day, or write something absolutely horrible.  My story-telling skills aren't even close to decent. Which is sad, because I really want to write a book. I don't care if it gets at all popular. (although that would be nice) I just want a write and publish a book.

I should be doing some form of homework right now. But right now, my motivation is to write, sew, do something that is not related to schoolwork. My motivation to do homework will pop up in the middle of judo, and disappear the second I return to the apartment.  Not fun.

My kindle for PC app is being stupid.  Amazon doesn't know it exists, and I've been wandering around various places in an attempt to make Amazon see that there's an app, but so far, nothing is working.

On another note, I may have to get a new battery for my laptop soonish. The lifespan of this one is shrinking every day. It can go for about an hour and a half now without a charge, two hours if it feels particularly healthy. Eh, I've got time. I'll start panicking about it when it can only last 30 minutes without being plugged in.

Ok, bad time for tumblr. Just saw a gifset with all the doctors regenerating into the next doctor. And ight after that, a soundbite from the last episode of Sherlock. FEELS. ALL OF THEM.

oh, and I have a twitter. So if you feel like it, here's my Twitter profile enjoy.

And the Week is Over

My first week of school is over, and it feels like at least two weeks have passed.  My Tuesdays and Thursdays are absolutely horrible. I am absolutely exhausted. 5 exceedingly challenging classes all in a row. Tomorrow there is absolutely nothing to do except for housekeeping and an excessive amount of homework. How fun.  So now I'm sitting here in jeans and a sports bra typing up my frustrations.

anatomy will be boring because my prof repeats himself way too often. Chemistry will be irritating because my prof talks more about what will be coming up rather than what's on the slide at the moment. Statistics will be alright, I think it will go well. French is fun, just a bit more homework than I'm used to. And the labs will be.... labs. I'll give you more on those when they actually happen.

Ok, time to enjoy my short reprieve of schoolwork.

Psychology, Where A + B = Whatever You Want

Mariah (Roommate): calling psych a "soft science" okay right?

Me: Soft science is not a great term
subjective science is better

Mariah: I've always heard it's soft because it was subjective while physics is "hard" because a+b will equal c

Me: It makes sense, but it's still strance

Mariah: where in psych a+b could equal square

Me: This is true

Mariah: I guess I'm around to many people in the "hard" sciences
didn't know if "soft" was a put down or not

Me:  a+ b = 9046.3. As long as you do your research and your numbers properly, and it can be backed up.
However, someone else could say that A + B = dog.

Mariah: XD

Me: So then there are two ideas for A and B but neither one of them really answer the entire question.
and combining the two won't do either, because they would leave huge explinational holes.

Mariah: you rock


Me: so then, an entirely NEW idea is proposed, which stated that A + B = the opposite of whatever Freud said, and it's all a nature vs nurture thing
but still no answer.

Mariah: aaaaaaaaaand you just helped me with my paper

Project for Awesome

http://projectforawesome.com/

P4A With John and Hank Green!! <3 Go donate to decrease world suck!!! DOOO IIITT!  I just gave $20, and got John Green's ebook. Seriously. DO IT.
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On another note, I want to go to the library today, so if you could comment with your favorite book, or just a book you think I need to read, that would be great.  I've got a nice list going right now.  Perhaps I can grab some food stuffs while I'm out for tomorrow's parties.  I'm going to two christmas parties tomorrow. One of them involves a violin. And the exact same arrangements for Christmas songs as I've been playing for at least 12 years.  The next party is with some friends from highschool. I haven't seen most of them in a long time. I'm looking forward to that.

Candy Day

Happy Halloween! The only day of the year where it is perfectly acceptable, and expected, for adults to hand out candy to young children.

In celebration of this sugar-infested holiday, my roommate and I are making pumpkin pancakes. We enjoyed the last of our pumpkin pie earlier.  Yes, we had dessert before dinner. It's OK.

Three days later, nothing has changed much. Pumpkin soup last night. Well, it was more like pumpkin stew. Actually, the stew was so thick it came out in plops of food into the bowl. Mais c’était délicieux =3

Dans ma classe de français, nous avons commence avec le plus-que-parfait pour la conjugaison. Il y a beaucoup des fourrue? pelage? (je ne sais pas le mot correct.) de tout façon, il y a beaucoup de choses dans  le tapis. Ma colocataire a un chien.

Socks are annoying.

FINISHED!!!!

Today I had two papers due, as well as a french and anatomy/physiology exam.  Paper #1 is turned in, french test is done, but it took one hour, 46 minutes to complete. Directly after the french test, my anatomy and physiology test started. That took about 30 minutes to finish, and it covered the brain, nerves, action potentials, glial cells, neurotransmitters, Botox, inhibitory post-synaptic neurons, excitatory post-synaptic neurons.... yea, lots of fun stuff. I feel pretty confident with my anatomy exam. Slightly less so with the french, but only because of spelling.  I find it difficult to spell in English, so French, where every third letter is silent, is not fun.  Anyway, I am now sitting outside of my last class of the day, Intro to Personality, with my short paper, and a paper I will be turning in for a friend.

In celebration, tonight will be nothing but ramen, and Assassin's Creed.  If you haven't seen, the Assassin's Creed games are on sale on Steam. Like SUPER cheep. I got AC I, II, and Brotherhood for $5 each.

And I feel like a nerd. Yesterday, I traded in some books to Bookmans, and got about $10 in in-store credit.  I spend $6 of those on Grey's Anatomy.  No, not the TV show. The book. The everythingyoucouldeverwanttoknowabouthumananatomy book.

BEST

BOOK

EVER

After typing a sentence or so, my brain automatically wants to hit Ctrl+S.  This is not Word, this is an online blog. One which has a save button. Unfortunately, that save button is mislabeled. It should say "save and quit" rather than only "save". That "save and quit" button could be helpful soon, though. My class is supposed to start in 20 minutes, and I'm not sure when I'll be done typing. 

It's been a while since I've spent so much time on here. It's rather nice.  On Tumblr, I started following various medicine-related blogs. There;s one dedicated to nursing, a couple for neuroscience, I have at least one for psychology... Now the only things on my dashboard are related to medicine and Castle. <3

I Missed You, Too

It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead.  Or at least, that's what it feels like. "studying" is, after all, a combination of "student" and "dying".

Portal quotes aside, it really has been a long time since my last visit. Kinda depressing, actually. A lot has passed. I have a new roommate. She's pretty awesome. And she brought a dog. So we now have a dog. Her name is Loches. She's a golden retriever. Yes, there are pictures.  I'm used to the tedium of classes which control my life. Getting rather tired of them, actually.  My CSF levels are diminishing..

DJ: heh
he
he
heeh
hehe
dammit.
cant spell hehe to save my freakin life.

Grape Juice and a Party

For those of you who care, I have a tumblr now. Because there aren't enough things to help me procrastinate. Like now, for instance. I have a mini-paper to write for my humanities class, but I really don't want to do it. The one due for Thursday is worse, though. http://petitevioloniste.tumblr.com/

I got my first tests of the semester back. I'm not thrilled with the results, but they're not horrible. Well, my Anatomy one is nothing to be proud of, but it's not a failure. There's a reason why I wrote on my whiteboard "you can do better." And I can, there's just no motivation and poor time-management.  I really need to learn how to manage my time better. And not waste time on facebook, tumblr, skyrim, psychonauts....

Also,  am officially a Nerdfighter. DFTBA!

This weekend will (hopefully) be spent watching Castle. All of the Castle. And Top Gear. Can't forget about that; DJ would murder me.

My sister's 15th birthday is coming up, and it's kinda strange. My baby sister is 15. I remember watching her as she crawled around the blanket on the floor.

But anyway, it's time for homework. Be back later.

Oil and Water

I'm reviewing how soap binds oil and water. So I drew this.

Life Moves On

I voluntarily went running earlier. Went two miles. ^.^

Anyway, the glorious math class of all things starts tomorrow at 9:10am. Not looking forward to the subject matter of the class, but at least when I finish this, I'll never have to take a math class again. That's an amazing thing. No more math after this month.

Happy July, btw. My half birthday is coming up in 5 days.

Hopefully the apartment stuff can be sent up soon. There's a gerbil chewing on my pant leg. Well fine, gerbil. I didn't like those pants anyway.

Tomorrow is going to be fun. Math in the morning, gym after that, then I'm meeting a friend at an amazing coffee shop called Next. It's about as pricey as Starbucks, but 500 times better. It's on 59th ave, between the 101 and Union  Hills, if you're interested.

"This is Aperture, this is Aperture. Test subjects die once they're in sight. . . "

Refute This. Please.

My Life

Me
everything is due this week
DJ
yay
Me
it's insanity
DJ
and i bet you procrastinated on it all, didnt you?
Me
I only procrastinated on one thing
DJ
oh wow good job!
Me
thanks
DJ
/not bad face
Me
the thing I'm procrastinating on is my anatomy sketchbook. I have 68 drawings to do. Due next week. Haven't started
DJ
holy fecking hammers.
sketches of what?
Me
all the different sutures, microscopic view of hyaline, fibro, and elastic cartilage, 3 different views of the brain,all the cranial nerves, all the muscles in the arms, neck, head, chest, back, thighs and legs, a taste bud, 2 views of the eye, and 2 drawings of the ear
DJ
holy crapping crappers.
i have a guitar lesson tomorrow. yay. thatll be fun
Me
I have to do a month's worth of practice in a couple hours tomorrow
DJ
violin, i assume
heh. so that means...youre going to be bowing and fingering for hours?
http://clean.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/neutral-if-you-know-what-i-mean-l.png
Me
No, It's flying practice.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1oMhMwUbgc
DJ
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2010/281/2/a/me_gusta_by_megustaplz-d30cns2.jpg
Me
^^
DJ
right, up on the table, arms out, fingers together, knees bent, head well forward, now flap your arms!
Me

<3